Transit Fashion: Makeup Essentials Edition

Once, on the Metro in DC, I was privy to a remarkable transformation. Before my eyes, in 20 minutes, a tired woman evolved into something bordering on stage hooker. I would have been put off by the end result if I hadn't been so awed by the process itself: Without a second look at the swarm of humanity packed liked sardines around her, this woman, armed with only a Caboodle box (remember those?!) and a very steady hand, transformed her face from a clean canvass to the very picture of an overly made-up office worker.

At the time, my makeup routine consisted of a quick swirltapbuff with my bareMinerals and a sweep of mascara, and it happened in the privacy of my own bathroom. I rarely put on lipgloss on the Metro, let alone pluck my damn eyebrows as that woman did. I had to look put together for work, but I put in the minimal effort required to look clean and somewhat awake.

Fast forward 3 years and across the country and my makeup routine hasn't changed a whole lot, except that I have become the woman doing her makeup on public transit. But I have learned in the intervening years that being able to roll into work looking put together and profesh is a major life skill, and when you sometimes ignore your alarm clock until you only have 20 minutes to get dressed, eat something (because I cannot function without something in my stomach) and run out the door, having the skills and tools to get your face on en route is clutch.

Having a cute bag is essential. Exhibit A.

So, what do I use to launch myself from bedraggled to bewitching in the time it takes to cross The Bridge? Well, I'm glad you asked, because I'm about to tell you. There are really only 3 main steps for looking acceptable for the office in my opinion, here they are:

• The base layer - tinted moisturizer / BB cream: When you're short on time and equipment, the whole dog and pony show of moisturizer+foundation+powder is simply not feasible. An ideal choice for makeup in transit is something that covers a few bases and can be applied with tools you always have, namely, your fingers. Luckily, you can get coverage, moisturizer and SPF in one, finger-centric application in either a tinted moisturizer or a BB cream. I am a huge fan of Jouer's Luminizing Moisture Tint (I use "golden" to keep my skin looking gently sun-kissed even in winter), which gives me light but buildable coverage, a dose of daily moisturizer, and SPF 20 to boot. BB (Beauty Balm) creams are breaking into the US market in a major way lately and offer coverage and SPF with a few additional perks (like acne control and a deeper level of hydration). My friend Jenn swears by Dr. Jart's Water Fuse Beauty Balm, but with all the options for BBs and tinted moisturizers these days, I recommend testing out a few to find one that works best for you. For makeup in transit purposes, the main things to look for are buildable coverage that you can apply with your fingers, and a no-mess, purse sized tube.

A compact should go without saying.
I really only use this one for the mirror.

• The brows: My second step, and some may disagree with me, is perfectly styled brows. Now, when I say perfectly, I don't mean go out and get them threaded regularly and follow up daily with a template (though those can be super helpful for taming unruly brows). What I really mean is keeping them neat and smooth through the work day. Nothing says "I woke up 15 minutes ago and definitely did not shower" like Crazy Jack Nicholson Eyebrows, and the easiest way to lock em down is a tinted brow wax. Now, there are lots of expensive brow kits out there, but for this, the best tool I've found (for daily life, not just transit) is Revlon's ColorStay Brow Enhancer, which contains a tinted brow wax at one end and a brow highlighter at the other. Super easy to apply on the bus, and the highlighter serves in a pinch to lighten up your eyes a bit more, key on those days when you've had less than the requisite 8 hours.

• Last but not least, the ultimate face waker-upper, MASCARA: If you don't already have a swear-by mascara, go figure that out, because whatever your go to is, there should be room for it in your day to day makeup kit. If you have a the space, I recommend carrying two shades because some days really are just a brown mascara day, and other days you need the oomph that only comes with a volumizing black. I happen to have three mascaras in my makeup bag at the moment: CoverGirl LashBlast Fusion in brown, Benefit They're Real! in black (the mini tube! which fits in my going out purse perfectly) and, a recent addition from my November Birchbox: ModelCo's Fibre Lashxtend, which I'm still on the fence about (it's hairy, no way around it) but it has a mirror ON THE TUBE which is quite amazing. The nice thing about mascara is it fits in pretty much any standard cosmetics bag, though the mini-tubes are great for even the smallest party bag.

So that's really all there is to it. Mornings are rough enough as it is without the expectation that you look awake and ready to face your day. But a clear face makes you look fresh n' clean regardless of how far from that you truly feel, posh and polished brows add that touch of effortless glam so key to looking like a competent human adult, and mascara literally makes your eyes look brighter and bigger, and thus, more awake! Of course, you can always add in lipstick and eyeshadow, but keeping the bar low on a day to day basis means a few extra minutes between the sheets, and it means you can really wow them on the days when you wake up before the alarm, and that's something we can all appreciate.

So what about you? 

Do you have a go to makeup routine for your busy mornings? Have you mastered the art of applying eyeliner while careening down the road (as a passenger, I hope!)? What are your essential steps to feel and look like a human when you stumble into the office in the morning? (Coffee is a given) I also love cute mini versions or products or multi-tasking palettes, do you have one you use regularly? Share it! 

Transit Fashion: Accessories Edition

by KeralaJane

In this edition of transit fashion, we’re talking about your must-have, can’t-live-without Life in Transit accessories. What do you require to get through your daily commute? We’re talking the thing that you will run back to the house for and risk missing the early bus because otherwise your trip will be hell. To answer this question, I did a quick poll of my fellow transit-takers-in-arms to see what they think. It’s not a peer-reviewed scientific study, but I think it is a pretty fair assessment of what the average commute holds dear to them. These aren’t ranked, but some things definitely came up more than others.  (Oh, and while not everyone said “fare” or “transit pass,” I am going to assume that everyone is a good person and not a freeloader and pays their fare.)

The mic'd model is essential

• Headphones/Music: Coming in as the hands-down most important accessory for your commute is headphones, and, it goes without saying, a music playing device to go with. People agree: the easiest way to get through your commute is retreating into that cozy little bubble that only noise piped directly into your eardrums can create. While I listen to practically everything, Noah G. in DC and Melissa E. in Portland both swear by NPR’s podcasts and the sultry tones of Ira Glass. I myself am an avid Skullcandy devotee, as they seem to stand up better to the wear and tear of daily use and actually stay in my ears.

• Caffeine: The other almost universally popular accessory for a commute, and this is specific to morning commutes, is coffee. Getting ready in the morning is hard enough without trying to gulp down enough steaming hot coffee before rushing out the door. “I have five travel mugs. I can’t be bothered to wash one every night, or remember to bring one home every evening. Clearly I have a problem, but I am a wreck without caffeine in the morning. I can’t help it” confesses fellow transiter Kelly M. in San Francisco. She is not alone: there are 100 million daily coffee drinkers in the US.* And, tomorrow (Sept. 29th) is National Coffee Day!

• Food: In addition to coffee, quite a few people mentioned breakfast in general. “I bring a bagel with me, or a cup of yogurt. I am not a morning person, so eating before I get out of the house is impossible...so, even though you’re not supposed to, I eat on the streetcar in the morning,” admits Kelsey B. in Portland, OR. Well, breakfast is the most important thing.

• Sunglasses: In addition to headphones, fellow LIT blogger @ktlynn83 MUST HAVE sunglasses “(in all weather conditions). Makes it easy to ignore or watch people.” Clearly the bubble effect is desirable, but also, c’mon, it is sunny out there! (especially on boats!) Kelsey H., a walker in Portland, agrees, especially since sunglasses are adept at hiding a tired face until you have time to wake up more.

Audrey Hepburn, avoiding crazies on the bus in style

• A BAG: Really, the type of bag you take on your commute says a lot about you and I will devote a whole post to this in the future, but my brief survey reveals that having the right bag is tres importante. I depend heavily on my GIANT purse to carry everything I need. I am of the cram-it-all-in-one tribe, so an accommodating purse, with lots of pockets for organization, is clutch. (Get it? I made a purse joke.) Sean takes the more manly route of the briefcase, a classic choice, with the occasional backpack, “when I know I’m gonna hit up the gym after work.” Ben D. in Portland, a commuter on wheels, can’t rely on your typical handheld manbag, so he relies on this Timbuk2 bag. Of course, you don’t have to cycle to appreciate the shoulder-strain relief of the classic backpack, but everyone can agree: roller bags are not sexy.

Timbuk2 bags are handmade in San Francisco, love by all.

• Reading material: “I grab an Express paper every day: it’s informative AND gives me something to do on the train” says Alex R. of Washington, DC. Kelsey B. on the other hand takes her Kindle (especially now that she doesn’t have a roommate that steals it all the time), and just picks up where she left off the night before, no bookmark required.

• A change of shoes: This is especially true if you are in a more formal corporate environment or have to gear up for inclement weather for your commute. Believe me, nothing ruins a morning like a rolled ankle or falling flat on your ass after slipping on ice: better to err on the side of good sense and change when you get to the office. During DC winters, I generally wore warm, weatherproof boots for my commute and carried flats in my bag (or just kept heels in my desk.) 

• Some people, though, go technology free: Stephanie H. in San Francisco talks to people... because she doesn’t own a smartphone and apparently doesn’t know how to read. Or something. I don’t even know, that is just weird.

So there you have it. A not so scientific evaluation of what it takes to just get through the morning before you can even start your actual day. I know I’ve missed some things, so please, share with me, what do YOU depend on to make your commute tolerable?

Ch-Ch-Chaaaaanges!!

By the Wanz

The title says it all!

This is more of an announcement blog than a regular blog… post… commety… thing… (Jesus, how am I a write?!)

ANNOUNCEMENT TIME!! The Life in Transit dynamic duo—Tanya & Jawanza—is expanding the creative family! Don’t think of the two of us as being “too lazy to tweet” (we’re both just busy with life stuff, work thangs, and of course, our respective hangovers), but seeking fresh creative blood! We’re wanting to expand the variety of writing that we’re doing, so we’re taking some big steps forward in doing so!

Creators & Executive Producers Bandito Betty and the Wanz have brought Associate Producers/Writers KJ (Kerala) and KT (Katie) to the Life In Transit world!! Give them a warm-ass welcome ladies and gentlemen!!

Bandito Betty will still be covering the strangeness that is Tacoma-Pierce County, capturing the bizarre, the funny, and the weird of the 253!! Pierce Transit—keep an eye out!! (Even though Pierce Transit kinda sucks…)

The Wanz will be overseeing MUNI in San Francisco and let me tell you… there’s a whole different league of weird shit that happens in SF. Plus, with the OWL-lines in play, late night strangeness will arrive.

KJ is hitting up the ferries and covering the general East Bay (yeah ferries and AC transit and anywhere else KJ can get around on public transit... oh yeah, there’s a “she’s gets around” joke that we’re going to overlook).

And the infamous KT, queen of Seattle public transit and Amtrak (yes, the crown hath been placeth upon thee) will be giving us the low-down on any King County and Sound Transit madness.

Plus we all endure shitty traffic… and we all know that sucks.

(Don’t worry, the format hasn’t really changed, we’ll return to “non-centered” paragraphing next post.)

And lastly, we have YOU, our relatively medium sized fan-base (noooot too small, but not freakishly large… there’s a that’s what she said joke just waiting to happen). The best way to contribute is to share your stories on twitter (just include us @LifeInTransitTJ), post on our facebook, and read and comment on our blogs. Help us grow, read our craziness, and support is in becoming… legendary… (Yes, yes, I have watched too much How I Met Your Mother lately.)

With KT & KJ joining the team, expect a lot more tweets, some fresh new blogs from all of us, and some awesome facebook… stuff… (what do we post on our facebook?!). And I’m not just talking about the “hungover/sometimes-still-a-little-tipsy-Wanz-rambling-away-about-his-random-late-night-adventures-as-his-life-is-in-transit” posts… I’m talking about the future of this blog as  WE know it…

(Seriously, How badly did I misuse 1^st and 3^rd person in this post? Was it really bad? I may blame the Coors and Mimsoas from earlier and HIMYM.)

Peace out readers! Thanks again!!

The Night Owl Expedition

By the Wanz

            Blog post—surprise!!!

            (That’s right, actually POSTING something on my blog counts as a surprise…)

            (Is that sad?)

            Today we are going to discuss the intense experience that we in San Francisco call “riding the drunk bus.” That’s right Tacoma, San Francisco has buses that run later than 11PM!!! What. A. Simple. Concept. Boo-to-the-ya.

            In San Francisco, we have what is called the “Owl”-lines. These lines run all around the city 24-7. They run about every half-an-hourish (i.e.: the usually time a Tacoma bus takes during the day), but they take you to where you need to go. If you buy a monthly pass, it’s like what… $64ish—whereas a taxi cab, HELLA expensive.

            But with any late-night transportations (or just transportation in general), you should keep in mind some important rules… so you don’t like, ya know… get mugged… get knifed… potentially DIE…  Thus, there’s a need to just keep yourself safe! So, here is some wisdomy-goodness for take MUNI and BART late at night.

1.              Make sure you know how to get home – I mean, have a general idea. There are maps and what not, but just have a general idea about how you can get home. Like some idea of north… east… south… west…

2.              And make sure you know your transfer spot and make sure you DON’T MISS IT!! – Or else you’re SOL. There’s no YOLO moment there.

3.              Don’t be too drunk on the busride – I mean, it’s great that you’re not driving. I’m proud. I’m actually applauding. BUT, guess what: a cab may be a safe bet too. Because on a bus ride you have to pay attention to your surroundings. If you’re too drunk, then just hop off the bus and cab it hoooome. It’s worth the money.

4.              Be prepared to navigate your way through the dark – There are a few handy-dandy recommendations for prepping for this!

a.     Use the GPS on your phone

b.     Listen to automated bus announcements

c.     Stare longingly out the window and try to see the street signs in hopes that your stop hasn’t passed you by

In the end, just make sure you get off when you’re supposed to, because, if you don’t, then you might like… miss your stop… forever.

5.              Be careful of if you fall asleep on the bus – Because when you fall asleep on the bus… you could wake up at the end of the line. Possibly without your wallet. And a place to pee.

6.              Don’t judgeth others, you don’t know where the hell they’ve been – Seriously, you don’t. Hell, where were YOU tonight? Yeah, stop and think about that. Oh shit, some reflection-time with yourself, maybe that’s where your judgment should be focused. Aside from that, don’t judge others. YOU DON’T KNOW!!!

7.              Travel with companions – You don’t have to, but sometimes it’s helpful to have some traveling companions!! Sometimes friends can help you make good life choice. And get home. And make sure you don’t wander.

8.              Beware of the Crazies, Drunks, and Attackerish  - Seriously, be careful. Depending on where you live, where you’re coming from, and who happens to be on board the bus, BE AWARE of your people surroundings. Drunks coiuld vom on you, Crazies could drool on you, and then Attackers could shank you. Just be weary.

9.              It’s ok to make an acquaintance on the bus… just don’t expect commitment – Seriously, if you’re on an Owl-line right now, on the weekend, you’re probably drunk… your judgment may be impaired. In fact, some passing acquaintanceships are meant to simply be that, passing.

10.           Don’t accept gifts from strangers – This life lesson is for all the dumbasses out there. I’ve heard tale of a guy who did the right thing when a guy offered him cocaine on the BART and he declined. Where he fucked up was when he decided to have some of his Gin he was carrying in his waterbottle. Major fail. In fact, a life session that’s important for all late night commuters.  Don’t be a dumbass. DON’T DO IT!

And there are your late night life lessons on the SF “drunk buses”—they get you to where you’re going, and you’ll be safe as long as you follow these helpful tips. (However, if anything does happen to you, even while following said tips, I am in no way liable… don’t sue me.)

Have your own late night bus expedition? Prove it and leave us a comment! J Share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!

Dear Taxicab Drivers of America

By the Wanz

(Well, at least the cab drivers of Tacoma, Seattle, San Francisco, Oakland, and the rest of the Bay Area.)

            Hey there, it’s me again, Wanz, your loyal passenger. I know sometimes I turn down your services for the bus or walking or my friend, but I do want to let you know that I appreciate you, whole-heartedly.

            That being said, I wanted to touch base with you to give you some constructive feedback. Yes, yes, you saw right through me, I’m giving a positive-feedback-positive sandwich… I learned it during supervisor training, and honestly, it’s fucking effective. Being the vocal, web-based person that I am, I wanted to write you a letter that just broke down some wants and desires I have for you. Now I know you have some feedback of your own (but unfortunately, yall don’t connect and have a semi-successful blog that criticizes your passengers… or do you? Do you? Am I in it? Can I be in it? J) but today, it’s about my feedback for you as my driver… consider this my “Top 5 Requests of my Cab Drivers.”

            Firstly, I’m going to provide this brief critique. Honestly, if I am making a very strange request (locationally speaking) I get it if you don’t know where you’re going. However, when I ask you for a pretty basic location… one would hope that you know where you’re going. If not, I understand, but it’s always a little unnerving when I find myself having to instruct you, my driver. I mean… that’s what GPSes were invented for… directions… you even getting out a map wouldn’t be super reassuring, but it’s more reassuring than you going “Uh, ok…” starting to drive and then me having to point out “you are definitely going the wrong direction.”

            Second of all, I am going to admit, this is primarily me being an asshole, but some days I’m in a chatty mood, some days I’m not. Unfortunately, it’s up to you to gauge that. Some days, I’m ok with you asking away about my backstory, and some days I’m chill with listening to your rambly life story, but other days, my general body-language should be screaming “No! NO! I don’t want to talk!! NAY!!!!” and on those days, you just need to accept me for being who I am, and let me be. You feel me?

            Third of all, if you’ve read my other post about taxicabs, you already know that I’m not a fan of drunk taxicab drivers. Nothing against you personally… well, actually yes, a lot against you personally. If I had wanted to get into a car being driven by a drunk driver, I would’ve asked my friend Pat to drive me. He’s been drinking all day. And guess what, I’m in this cab right now because I’m relying on you to be my sober driver. Too much to ask? If it is, then… well, I’m just not getting your ride. Sorry.

            Fourth of all, and this may be making me the asshole again, a title that I’m willing to both accept and embrace, but let me know if you don’t take credit cards. I come from San Francisco, and for the most part, I’m usually carrying cash in anticipation of cabbing home, however, if you have the little VISA/Mastercard logo and several blocks into the ride you’re like “Oooooh….. about plastic……. Yeeeeaaaah….. [insert awkwarder pause]….. I don’t take that.” Then I call bullshit on you good Sir/Madame. (Though now that I’m thinking about it, I’ve only had male drivers… what’s that about guys and gals? Societal norms need to change! Starting on a cabby-level!) Anyways, don’t make me a bigger asshole than I already am, and just be upfront about it so I don’t eject myself from your car, screaming “Eeeeaaaaggggglllleeeee” and then having to tuck and roll. (Eagle was a Scrubs reference… I officially will tip my fro to anyone who go that.)

            Lastly, speed and directions… I pretty much need you to be breaking laws for me if I’m hailing you midday, because that means I’m late. (If it’s a latenight cabby moment, I’m just drunk and need to get home.) So, drive as fucking fast as you can without being pulled over or killing anyone. Being a witness to driveby murder isn’t really in my life itinerary. And directionally speaking, please just go the fastest route as possible. Nothing miffs me more than noticing that you’re taking a long route just to milk the money I’m already spending on you.

EVEN though I already said last, this is just kinda PS note, that just because I’m black, doesn’t mean you should ignore. I’ll pay you. Just stop when I’m waving my arms, attempting to hail you. I swear, I’ll pay… I swear…

            Sincerely,

            Wanz of Life in Transit

P.S. Do you feel like I’ve misjudged you? Have you received other letters from other passengers? Do you have words to say? If so, you should let me know!! Prove it.

P.S.S. To prove it, you should share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!

P.P.S.S. BYE AGAIN!

LiT’s Confessions of a Semi-Failing Blogger

By the Wanz

            Don’t even get me started on my personal blog. *ugh* It has almost been ONE WHOLE YEAR!!!

            So, initially, this was just going to be a short introduction to the other blog I was writing (another taxi-cab rant) when I realized I hadn’t written a blog entry in about… uh, I’m actually not sure when my last blog was. Several deadlines ago. Then, I realized that there multiple re-cuses (when a reason and an excuse become one) as to why I have not been blogging.

            I will admit that I may not be able to supply bloggage on a weekly basis due to some new life circumstances. So, until then, you will just have to be satisfied with this simplistic post of truth, honesty, and humorous self-reflection. Full disclosure:

1.     I started driving cars and I’m trying to get back into writing my fictional, short-story works—DAMMIT, no, I can’t start this blog off with a lie… let me begin with the WHOLE truth…

1.     The real 1.: I apparently enjoy my Sunday Fundays in San Francisco (SFSF?!) too much. I admit it. Bottomless mimosas in San Francisco, time in Dolores Park thereafter enjoying a pleasant bottle of beer with some delicious snacks, and then gorging on dinner equals one thing: an early bedtime with minimal productivity. It’s not my fault, it’s society’s fault! And the mimosas! And the non-marijuana park treats!! (Seriously, pot-free. And delicious!)

2.     So, funemployment provided the perfect forum for blogging, tweeting, over-facebooking, job-hunting, career-dreaming, tv-watching, comic book reading, video gaming, regular reading, social interacting, beering, shot taking, swearing that I’m not an alcoholic…ing… Getting a job kinda took the fun right out of funemployment! (Don’t you dare glare or sigh at that last statement—THAT WAS PUNNY DAMMIT!!)

3.     Tacoma provided a good location for bus-blogging… that and the fact that I could actually bus around for free right when I became funemployment. I maaaay have kept my free bus pass after I got let go for a month in a half. (Not my fault work never asked for it back and didn’t shut it off until late June. #forthewin) Yeah, bussing around in SF/the Bay Area is kinda expensive and also sorta sketch sometimes.

4.     I actually only have a 5-10 minute bus commute to work now. My walk to my bus stop is actually longer than my bus ride. Sooooo I’m not on the bus as much anymore (no more 1 ½ hour commute to work from home)!

5.     It’s not that I ran out of ideas… because I have a blog idea for next week. BOOYA!!! It’s the week after that I may be screwed. I’ve also been distracting myself with other side projects, like Mathias' Jacket, my personal twitter, books, some writing (nothing big), mimosasing—so I have some writers block, in certain arenas.

6.     Some days I remember that I’m in a slightly sketchier part of town, wherein if I jot down notes of what people are saying I may accidentally be recording evidence in a trial of some sort… seriously… not trying to start trouble. The docile crazies of Tacoma are… y’know, too crazy to do anything.

7.     People are just sliiiiightly more aware of if you’re taking a picture of them on the bus here. Also, people beside you are more verbally protective of random strangers on the bus in San Francisco. TOTALLY makes photographing strange bus-goers way harder.

8.     Some days DailyGrace takes over your freetime, your creative world, and your soul…

9.     Bonding with the new roomie and catching up with old friends!

10.  Some days I just get wrapped up in the new environment that I’m now in… not so much in the beauty-aspect of the city, just more in the “I really don’t want to get lost in my newish city and end up in the wrong part of town… or get off at the wrong stop… or miss the coffee shop or bar or restaurant I’m trying to find.” In short, I’m wrapped up in my own business.

BOOM!!! Truth! That sound right there… that was honesty. And honestly, at least one more blog is coming. And here’s a pledge: I will try to eavesdrop more, be more sneaky with my photographing, and find inspiration (not in the form of mimosas who hath no bottom) in something that will provide AWESOMELY FUNNY AND MOVING BLOGS.

That or I’ll just beg the Bandito Betty to blog… (begging may come sooner than we think). Till next week, bus safe, comment on our twitter, and enjoy our facebooking MADNESS!!!

Till next I blog. ~wanz

Share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!

The/My Most Awkward Bus Moments

By the Wanz

            Spoiler alert: when you need to write a blog, go get groceries, go work out, and then log-online to post said blog, you definitely need wifi to do two of these things… (Heads up: if you need wifi to work out or go grocery shopping then… yeah, you have plugged into the Matrix and the machines HAVE WON!)

            Sorry I didn’t post this on time. Again. (Consistently!) Apparently bottomless mimosas are not conducive to blogging… (seriously $12 for bottomless mimosas and $8 for grubbage leads to… a very day drunk, happy Sunday funday… you should try!)

            Drinking and slacking habits aside, here is a delightful little summary of awkward bus moments I have encountered during my life on this bus. It’s self explanatory, so, here we go!

1.              Falling on my face on the #1 Bus in Tacoma and banging my head on the pole… because I am a graceful faller…

2.              Running after a bus, panting and sweating, and then waving my hands to stop it, only to realize that I only had $1 (it costs $2) and then being told to step off the bus…

3.              Open fly after my long Seattle commute. I just assumed all those glances and smiles I was getting were because of my work out sessions.

4.              Talking to a girl on the bus, who ends up being a stripper, who has a dildo in her shopping bag (a new one, still boxed up, not used).

5.              Realizing that I’m standing at a bus stop that says “No Service” for about a solid 10 minutes… obviously observant.

6.              Discovering a nudity scene in the episode of Dexter I’m watching. (I switched programs so it wouldn’t be seen.)

7.              Oh, right, when the bus driver stopped the bus and stood over me because I was playing my music too loudly (eeeeeee……….. awkward…).

8.              Snapping at the bus driver when he kept asking where my bus stop was and I knew where it was, just not the cross streets… he hated me ever since. I would say “Bye!” every day and would get the cold icy silence (especially awkward when you’re the last person on his bus).

9.              On Halloween in San Francisco, sitting on an overcrowded lightrail bus, and seeing a guy dressed up in a KKK outfit sitting in the same train as me… majorly uncomfortable.

10.           And last, but definitely not least, boarding a primarily empty bus only to see a girl who you had a one night stand with. Especially awkward because you can overhear her friend and her exchanging stories…

BOOM! And that’s me, keeping it classy. I a symptom I suffer from.

Do you know a more awkward story about me (FROM THE BUS)? Have your own awkward story? Prove it and leave us a comment! J Share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!

Sins of My Bus Drivers

By the Wanz

            Even though I did NOT post this on time, I would LIKE to think that most consistent thing you can expect from me is my inconsistency… J

            I apology profusely for writing and posting this late, but as some of you know I’ve moved to California and I’m “technically” homeless (i.e.: without a residential address). I’m staying with family in a different city and commuting into San Francisco Monday-Friday (and on the weekends I take a LONG bus/lightrail ride between cities). So my free time to write is a little limited just cause… well, there are only certain buses here in the Bay that I’d take my laptop out on.

            Otherwise, muggings ensue, we don’t want that to happen again, and I wouldn’t be able to write my blog. #robbedbloggerproblems

            ANYWHO, on this week’s Life In Transit, we’re going to discuss errors that my bus drivers have made. I was gonna originally call up “Fuck Ups My Bus Driver Made” but I felt the other title held some slight degree of subtly. Just remember, this is just recounting some blips in the lives and careers of some amazing people who commute us around! They are people too, and sometimes, they mess up. (Though one or two may just be truly bad people.)

            Let’s begin our stroll down memory lane…

1.              Drive-by(e)s – Here’s a basic one. As much as I appreciate my chatty drivers, I have definitely encountered distracted drivers. This is a problem when a driver passes by someone waiting for the bus and then they don’t stop to let them catch the bus. They’re just like, “Ooops. Sucks for them.” and I’m like, “We haven’t even gone one whole block. You can still redeem yourself. Better yourself. Save yourself! STOP THE BUS.” (I’ve never actually said this, but the thoughts are there… especially when said person who the bus passes is… well, me.) I will speak up if my driver SKIPS my stop and I’m on the bus. That’s unforgivable.

2.              This isn’t a game of Mario Kart – This is more a jab at my commuter drivers, but there have been some instances where I was thrown back and forth on a bus in a manner that could have resulted in whiplash. (Just saying, uncool.) I would say it’s just me, until you exchange that look with a fellow passenger who’s like “What the unholy fuck is going on?!” (Oh you know that look.) And some drivers think they’re just badass at driving… Of course, then I remember a certain snow day…

SNOPOCALYPSE!!!!

(And no, I was not on this bus, just proving a point…)

3.              Pop, lock, and drop… to the floor – In the same vain, sudden stops are raaaaather annoying. Now, not all of these are the fault of the driver. In fact, most bus drivers may even think that all of these incidents are not their fault. But sometimes, we take sudden stops and yeah, the everyone on the bus is jolted forward, it’s not great. Sometimes it’s due to someone in front of us… and sometimes the driver just didn’t realize the light was red… And then, half the people are sidewalks, old people are wailing, and the bus driver’s like “No one report me… no one report me… no one re—oh, wait, IS EVERYONE OK??!”

4.              Wait? It was that way? – In their defense, drivers who get lost usually are newer drivers. However, for those of us who must endure the detour (or for those who get skipped over all together because the bus went the wrong way) are not super duper happy in any shape or form. Laughing moment for you Sir/Madame Driver, glaring moment for us.

5.              The wrongly accused – I guess I look like I listen to loud music (i.e.: young, black man). On several occasions I’m stared in the eyes and told to turn my music down by a very annoyed bus driver. I frown and usually “mime” doing it, before I check my volume. (To do the check, take out your headphones and check and see if you can hear it one foot in front of you. If you can, it’s on too loud. If you can’t, then the white dude next to you who would “never listen to music loudly” is probably the perp.) Way to assume… and we know what happens when you assume…

6.              Misdirection – Certain buslines run along the same routes as others. In fact, some buslines are the same as other buslines they just start in different arenas. (SF Example: the 7 and the 71 and the 6 from Haight Ashbury toward downtown all bring you to the same place. Tacoma/Seattle Example: 590 and the 594 all bring you from Tacoma to Seattle, one bus just starts in Lakewood.) There was definitely a driver who told a passenger waiting for a bus (that took them to the same place as they were heading) that he wasn’t that bus and that she should wait. That poor woman was probably waiting for another 2 hrs, or until a driver who knew what he/she was talking about came along.

7.              Childhood Memories – This is less of a sin, and more of a win, but our schoolbus driver definitely would go as fast as he could over certain speed bumps when we were in summer. Not safe, but still fun. (Coincidentally, he got fired for smoking weed on the bus during his transit breaks… Classic.)

8.              Red light runners – Seriously, they don’t give a fuck. Laws? Pffft. Fuck that.

9.              You’re old as HELL – I would get carded a lot when I was 16 and 17 by my drivers. There are  some who I think genuinely thought I was like in my 20s trying to pull a fast one on them. (I saw pictures of me when I was that age, I was not old looking.) Anyway, you prematurely scarred me. Just a heads up.

10.           You drove off that one time that I got mugged – JUST SAYING, you did. (Boom! Brought it back full circle.) Because I remember the day my laptop was snatched outta my hands and I grabbed onto the guy who stole it and was flung to the cementy ground. AND YOU DROVE AWAY WITH THE REST OF MY STUFF STILL ON YOUR BUS. I had to CHASE AFTER YOU just to get the rest of my stuff, and most definitely bled on your bus (my only win.) You are, and forever will be, the must sinful bus driver. The worst part—I don’t know remember who you are, but I will also remember what you do. And now the rest of the internet hates you.

a.     On a subnote: The bus driver who was there when that young girl got robbed on the bus (no physical harm) probably didn’t know it happened, because the 7 in Seattle is a pretty long, sketchy bus. But if you did, then you have no soul good sir… no soul…

Yup! And those are the sins of my bus drivers!!! I love most of you (you take me places) but you select few are on my shit list… may you one day be redeemed… some day…

Think I was too harsh? Care to share your own tale? Think you have a better story?  Then I say prove it!!! Leave us a comment dammit! J (I share-dare ya!) Post your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!

Car Rentals, Yelp, and the Facts of Life

by the Wanz

            (Never thought I’d do a blog cars, did ya?!)

            HAPPY SUNNY SUNDAY FROM SAN FRANCISCO!!!!!!!!!! (Sorry if it’s cloudy in Washington… that sucks… but it’s expected… right?)

            Today we are moving away from the list-format to discuss a specific car rental incident I witnessed with my friend. I don’t drive, so I don’t find myself dealing with shit like this, however, I was there for the whole ordeal and wanted to give the incident some justice. So, today, I blog. And dammit, I blog for justice… and also because I couldn’t think of anything else to write about.

            So my friend, her boyfriend, and I begin on a journey to go to some car rental place. She’s heading up the coast for the weekend to help her sister move and her car wouldn’t make the journey, so she needs to rent a car. (A similar and familiar concept I’m sure.) As we’re driving there, she mentions the name of the place a few times and her boyfriend and I seem a little confused, cause she keeps saying “Payless.” I make a few Payless shoes joke I think until we actually get there and we’re like “Right, it’s actually called Payless Car Rentals… hmmm….” She explains that it is the cheapest car rental place and that her sister set her up with a good deal…

            First warning sign: It is away from the other car rental places. We’re out by Oakland Airport, and so there a number of rental agencies and when we pull up to the main one, the guy outside the door shakes his head and is like “Turn around and go that way.” The place is pretty small, a little odd and sketchy, but that can be anywhere in Oakland. My friend goes in and her boyfriend and I just shoot the breeze for a bit in her car. It’s a good 45 minutes later and we’re both like “Does it normally take this long to rent a car?”

            Then we see our friend storming out, on the phone with her sister, near to tears. We bros just carefully watch her from the mirror until she makes her way back to her car. Apparently, they require mail in order to prove that you live in Oakland and she had just moved. She was then yelled at and berated by the customer service guy for a good 20-30 minutes because she didn’t have any mail and he refused any other type of verification. Plus, they were unsure of if her car was even ready/there yet.

            As she’s explaining this in the car, the couple in front of us approaches the car and informs us of a similar situation/problem that they were having. They were also refused a car and yelled at by the same man. There’s apparently a woman who works there who is more considerate, but she wasn’t available that day. Our friend’s sister calls her back, unable to get any better news for her, so while we wait, her boyfriend whips out his phone and goes to the yelp reviews of this place. And this is what we found…. (Ignore any of the 4-5 star comments, those were written by someone who works there.)

            With reviews like “I've never had trouble with a car rental company before I went where” and “tires are so worn that they're not safe” and “The car has gross stains on the seats and 44,000 miles on the odometer” it becomes clear that this was not the best place to get a cheap car. As we pull away, we then notice the cars that they are renting out… One car looks legitly totaled, another’s bumper is hanging on by a thread, and the third has a gigantic dent in the passenger side’s door. We realized that the cost of they would charge us for in “damage” would out-weigh the “cheap and affordable price.”

            In the end, we end up going back to the Oakland airport, renting a car form the place where the rest of the awesome car rental places are, and my friend got to drive in her dream car. But the short of it is, if you find yourself in Oakland, needing to go to a car rental place, AVOID PAYLESS CAR RENTAL!!!!!!

Our life lessons for today: Just say no to Payless Car Rental; if it's really cheap and sounds too good to be true... check yelp. All answers reside there. And remember: sometimes you deserve an awesome car to rent, even if it's just for a few days to help your sister move. CHEERS!

Do you have your own Payless hell story? Or would you want to defend Payless? Well, prove it and leave us a comment! J Share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!

Favorite Tweets of our First Year in Transit

On July 17^th, Bandito Betty and I sat down in a bar in Tacoma, took a picture, started a twitter, and began this, our Life in Transit (TJ). Over the year, we had some delightfully random tweets! In a very similar vain as a clip show, here are some hilarious highlights from our twitter account this year! (BTW, if you don’t follow our tweets then WTF, and OMG, you probably should click here… otherwise there may be another abbreviation…)

Standing at bus stop, bus pass visibly in hand, dude asks me, "are you waiting for the bus?". This isn't the bathroom line? -BB

I admit it, I was the awkward guy bopping along to my music on the bus to work today. Judge away, I was having a good time! -wanz ‪#SelfJudge

Definitely don't have to worry about getting lost on this bus with these two by my side.. http://yfrog.com/gz1jkqbj

Man: can I sit here? Me: nods head yes. Man: I don't bite so it's all right, you're safe. Me thinking: you have no teeth.

A fiery-braided mullet, a lady carrying a toy baby, & a chick w/ flesh colored, super tight tights? Just another day in transit. -wanz

To the dude who chased after the bus, which was nice enough to wait for you, plan better (I.e.: don't board w/ only a $20 bill). -wanz

Elderly lady wearing clear safety glasses. You never know what could fly in your eye on public transit.

QOTD "There'll be a threesome come the next family reunion." Ew... Thanks for keeping it classy route 1. -wanz

There's a rat tail in front of me and a mullet to my right. I smell weed in the air. Party bus!

So nap may not happen. Girl next to me has a twitch in her elbow that keeps nudging me!! When will I sleep?! When?? -wanz ‪#elbowedinseattle

To the well dressed caucasian gentleman looking me dead in the eyes with concern, who's across from me, calm your racism down, I don't mug.

Pretty sure Santa Claus is driving my 594 bus today!! Time to ponder what I want for christmas!!

Tis a cold day for those lives in transit http://yfrog.com/nvjq8sfj

QOTD (a grown woman): i chew on thumbtacks.

Definite scary-clown-spotting this morning while pass through commerce street station. Not the funniest way to start the day

22 minute bus delay. Somebody better be dead.

So when the bus says "music devices can only be played at a minimum level" who thinks the guy with the loud music can actually hear that?

A high schooler just got on the bus with a giant cardboard heart. Whoever that's for, you go git that! -wanz

There are literally 2 girls (probably 3rd graders) swing on the bus pole and banging their hands on the window... ‪#whereareyourparents‬ -wanz

The bus driver was actually just clipping his fingernails at the stop light. True story.

mmm nothing like the thick, humid aroma on bus passengers right after a rain. ‪#smellsintransit

Guy2Me: Did I just see you 20 days ago? Me: Where? Guy: ...weren't you just locked up. Me: Nope! –wanz

Ghostbus!! http://yfrog.com/h0l9jxefj

And the award for creepiest transitter goes to Guy-Watching-People-at-the-Gym. You're creepy. Kudos! http://yfrog.com/nyv2etaj

Firstly, your pants are insanely yellow. Secondly, sit down dude! Or let me sit down. Move your business pic.twitter.com/iGuRMnhX

Bus driver just told me, "haven't seen you out for awhile" apparently the bus has officially become a bar.

Who needs a trailer park when you have public transit? -BB http://pic.twitter.com/UWTaOWDv

This dude who caught the bus on the last stop before i5 is complaining about there be no seats during commuting times. ‪#youdidthistoyourself

When you sit down and your seat mate says out loud, "I made a friend" that's the perfect time to change seats. –BB

THANK YOU FOR SUPPORTING US DURING OUR FIRST YEAR OF LIFE IN TRANSIT (TJ)!!! We love an appreciate pretty much most of you (one or two of you may be an asshole, I don’t know, so I just have to be honest about it),  but we definitely appreciate you reading these, following tweets, liking our Facebook page, and leaving your comments!

YOU ROCK!!! So thanks! Keep a look out for more new content this year!! ENJOY!!!!!

My Goodbye Review or Rant of Metro, Sound, and Pierce Transit

By the Wanz

            HAPPY SUMMER EVERYONE!!

I know that this is a particular truth for those readers in the Puget Sound Area cause there’s been actual WARMTH and a little dash of something called SUNSHINE outside lately!  WOO!!

So if you’re reading this today, you may momentarily stop, and ponder “Why is this being posted on a Sunday?!” And the reason, I start working on Monday. (RIP Funemploymnet.) And I start work in… San Francisco!

Yes, as I’ve already noted, this month I transition from Tacoma, Washington to the San Francisco Bay Area (cue: screaming applause). This means that Bandito Betty will be holding down the fort up in Washington while I report the transitfulness of the Bay. There will be some new kinds of posts coming soon, so be on the look out for those.

            So, for my ode to the Puget Sound Area, I’m giving you my goodbye review / rant of the public transit system for Metro, Sound, and Pierce Transit. Certain transit lines offer more to review-rant (rev-rant?) about because of the kinds of services they offer (i.e.: Sound Transit has the lightrail, the buses, and the commuter train).

             Rapid Transit is not reviewed because I never really rode it, but I’m sure one day I’ll have a chance to complain about it. And the busline to Olympia can be damned, because it stopped accepting my ORCA card, so I rejected it from my heart. (#scorned.)

            So let’s get this rantful review started!!

Metro Transit

            Let’s flatter Seattle and start there. First of all, I have never lived in Seattle. I’ve only commuted in there for work and occasional social visits on weekends or after work. Admittedly so, I’m a lot less familiar with it than Sound & Pierce.

            All in all, traveling on Metro, I always get where I needed to go and there’s usually a number of buses available to get me multiple places. The timeliness of Metro is a double-edged sword; there is conveniently a shit ton of buses running, but there’s a lack of accuracy to them. Buses arrive too early for my bus-system or even horribly late. (My almost flawless technique of catching the bus on time was frequently challenged by Metro.)

            Metro is sorta dirty and a little sketch. I remember sometime during my first months working up in Seattle, I saw a girl get ambushed and mugged by two girls and she lost her iPod. And the bus driver was just like “eh, whatever” and drove off (minus the words, his gestures and silence spoke volumes). This shouldn’t reflect all drivers. The bus drivers are hit or miss. Sometimes they were very caring, but other times, the driver does not give a single flying fuck about some of the passengers, cleanliness, how they drive, etc.

            And cleanliness was just… absent.

            Metro gets 2 out of 5 Proof of Payment Stars. It’s dirty, not super safe, hit or miss with the bus drivers, but at least there were a lot of lines and you could get where you needed to go in Seattle. Getting where you need to be, kinda important.

Sound Transit

            (I must separate my eternal annoyance with long commuting with this review/rant, since I was commuting between Tacoma and Seattle for like 2 years.)

            Aside from the 590, 592, 593, 594, and the occasional trip on the 595, I took Sound Transit a few times to other cities around the Puget Sound Areas. (Definitely took an Issaquah trip, ventured to SeaTac, meandered to Auburn, even up to Snohomish.) The drivers are typically really nice, they got me to my destination, and they even maneuver through traffic and haul major ass on i5 (which I very much appreciated).

            Pricing-wise though, it is a little expensive—ESPECIALLY when they stopped accepting transfers for those who paid in cash because of the ORCA cards. Now, that’s another major complaint, since you can only use transfers if you had an ORCA card, but those with cash can’t. Just kinda feels like a douche-bag move. Understandable why it was done, in order to make a push for the use ORCA cards, but for those who like bill-to-bill, or were visiting the area, or any other reason, that’s just uncool.

            (And yes, I did have an ORCA card, but it was paid by work, so I never paid for the $90 monthly passes. Though this may be more of an ORCA card rant than a Sound transit rant… oops! That’s right, I’m gonna rant-review-anger-rate them anyways. ORCA, you get a 1 out of 5 Proof of Payment Stars in my book! Now, re-routing rant.) Anyways, Sound Transit is pricy and ORCA didn’t help.

            The buses themselves are very clean. Buses run very regularly. The one to the airport almost runs throughout the night. The commuter train is cool, but it’d be great if it ran more frequently than it did. And, lastly, there are the two lightrail systems. *sigh* The Seattle lightrail is great, gets/connects Downtown Seattlers with south Seattle (most specifically, the airport), and it did it at a quick pace. It covers a lot of area. Now, the Tacoma lightrail is free, probably because people wouldn’t pay to go from Downtown Tacoma to only 1.6 miles away to the Tacoma Dome Station. (I accidentally capped that last sentence and rewrote it, but my anger definitely subconsciously slipped into my typing.) Does “pointless” and “ridiculous” summarize the idioticness of the t-town lightrail? Nay… justice hath not been served by pointless and ridiculous.

            Sound Transit gets 4 out of 5 Proof of Payment Sars! Great drivers, clean buses, plentiful routes, with bad pricing and one awesome lightrail system and a joke of a lightrail system. Good job!! J

Pierce Transit

            Sadly I used to really appreciate these buses. They weren’t perfect, especially compared to SFMUNI (which I had been taking prior to moving up to Washington), but I actually get around parts of the city pretty reasonably price, and it was fine. But, every year, the prices kept creeping and creeping, and at some point, it matched and then surpassed the fare for San Francisco, but it in no way matched the quality of the frequency of buses nor number of routes. Then, when I became commuting more to Puyallup and Lakewood from varies areas in Pierce County, I noticed that the lengthen of time getting places took forever. (Getting from my house in Tacoma to Puyallup on Pierce Transit matched the length of time it took for me to get from my house to Downtown Seattle on Pierce & Sound Transit.) Plus the frequency of buses supremely sucked.

            Then came the great fire that destroyed a natural fuel gas tank right before the major bus cuts/re-routes of 2011.

            For those who are unfamiliar with this event, here is a news article explaining what occurred with the explosion. As an outcome of this accident, Pierce Transit was forced to have limited usage and to borrow vehicles from Sound Transit. I still theorize that this fire was set by Pierce Transit themselves, to make their future cuts/re-routes appear to be less shitty. This limited bus schedule resulted in overcrowded buses, confused schedules, SOL passengers, and PO’d drivers.

            From this, we transitioned into the proposed route cuts and re-routing of nearly all bus lines, which left riders without ways of getting home passed 10pm. :\ It was slightly readjusted over time, cutting more routes, extending the time and change the frequency for certain lines, but not very well. Suddenly, commuting in Tacoma became the hugest pain in my ass. Walking seemed like a better fiscal and life choice than the over priced buses in Tacoma.

            The buses are decent in regards to cleanliness, though sometimes seats were broken, smelly, or messes were made. (But it’s a bus, those happen.)

            HOWEVER, their drivers majorly redeem services for Pierce Transit. Their drivers are by far some of the most friendly, concerned, and customer-orientated drivers I’ve ever had! I remember my favorite route-one driver, who was a “take-no-shit-from-anyone” would always welcome me with a smile, check in on me, noted how I lost weight (hella swoll) and would always honk as she passed me to wave goodbye to me. (Right?!) It is a common trend. Or if drivers notice issues or harassment on the bus, they stop the bus and address it. They clearly care… well, most. There’s always room for exceptions, but for the most part, drivers remember the riders and express a genuine concern. Shitty routes aside, they helped and did their best with the transition of the limited usage and the cuts/re-routes.

            All in all, Pierce transit gets 2 2/3 out of 5 Proof of Payment Stars! Bad prices, ok buses, bad routes/times, but phenomenal drivers.

That’s ALL for you commuters in Tacoma / Seattle / all the places nearby (*ahem* except Olympia). You will be missed and frequently visited!! My ORCA card hath been retired for a CLIPPER card (yay area) since I left my heart in San Francisco, but my liver will always be left in Tacoma.

Feel like you disagree with my ratings? Feel like I should give Olympia a chance? Maybe have some insight into Rapid Transit? Well, like always, I scoff with doubt and say prove it. Follow us!! On the internet. I dare ya. And leave us a comment! J Share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!