The Night Owl Expedition

By the Wanz

            Blog post—surprise!!!

            (That’s right, actually POSTING something on my blog counts as a surprise…)

            (Is that sad?)

            Today we are going to discuss the intense experience that we in San Francisco call “riding the drunk bus.” That’s right Tacoma, San Francisco has buses that run later than 11PM!!! What. A. Simple. Concept. Boo-to-the-ya.

            In San Francisco, we have what is called the “Owl”-lines. These lines run all around the city 24-7. They run about every half-an-hourish (i.e.: the usually time a Tacoma bus takes during the day), but they take you to where you need to go. If you buy a monthly pass, it’s like what… $64ish—whereas a taxi cab, HELLA expensive.

            But with any late-night transportations (or just transportation in general), you should keep in mind some important rules… so you don’t like, ya know… get mugged… get knifed… potentially DIE…  Thus, there’s a need to just keep yourself safe! So, here is some wisdomy-goodness for take MUNI and BART late at night.

1.              Make sure you know how to get home – I mean, have a general idea. There are maps and what not, but just have a general idea about how you can get home. Like some idea of north… east… south… west…

2.              And make sure you know your transfer spot and make sure you DON’T MISS IT!! – Or else you’re SOL. There’s no YOLO moment there.

3.              Don’t be too drunk on the busride – I mean, it’s great that you’re not driving. I’m proud. I’m actually applauding. BUT, guess what: a cab may be a safe bet too. Because on a bus ride you have to pay attention to your surroundings. If you’re too drunk, then just hop off the bus and cab it hoooome. It’s worth the money.

4.              Be prepared to navigate your way through the dark – There are a few handy-dandy recommendations for prepping for this!

a.     Use the GPS on your phone

b.     Listen to automated bus announcements

c.     Stare longingly out the window and try to see the street signs in hopes that your stop hasn’t passed you by

In the end, just make sure you get off when you’re supposed to, because, if you don’t, then you might like… miss your stop… forever.

5.              Be careful of if you fall asleep on the bus – Because when you fall asleep on the bus… you could wake up at the end of the line. Possibly without your wallet. And a place to pee.

6.              Don’t judgeth others, you don’t know where the hell they’ve been – Seriously, you don’t. Hell, where were YOU tonight? Yeah, stop and think about that. Oh shit, some reflection-time with yourself, maybe that’s where your judgment should be focused. Aside from that, don’t judge others. YOU DON’T KNOW!!!

7.              Travel with companions – You don’t have to, but sometimes it’s helpful to have some traveling companions!! Sometimes friends can help you make good life choice. And get home. And make sure you don’t wander.

8.              Beware of the Crazies, Drunks, and Attackerish  - Seriously, be careful. Depending on where you live, where you’re coming from, and who happens to be on board the bus, BE AWARE of your people surroundings. Drunks coiuld vom on you, Crazies could drool on you, and then Attackers could shank you. Just be weary.

9.              It’s ok to make an acquaintance on the bus… just don’t expect commitment – Seriously, if you’re on an Owl-line right now, on the weekend, you’re probably drunk… your judgment may be impaired. In fact, some passing acquaintanceships are meant to simply be that, passing.

10.           Don’t accept gifts from strangers – This life lesson is for all the dumbasses out there. I’ve heard tale of a guy who did the right thing when a guy offered him cocaine on the BART and he declined. Where he fucked up was when he decided to have some of his Gin he was carrying in his waterbottle. Major fail. In fact, a life session that’s important for all late night commuters.  Don’t be a dumbass. DON’T DO IT!

And there are your late night life lessons on the SF “drunk buses”—they get you to where you’re going, and you’ll be safe as long as you follow these helpful tips. (However, if anything does happen to you, even while following said tips, I am in no way liable… don’t sue me.)

Have your own late night bus expedition? Prove it and leave us a comment! J Share your experience on our blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com and we may post your message / picture!!