By the Wanz
Coming straight from San Francisco, in my friend’s
apartment, who is not home, but whose roommate (zombified) let me in, with less
than one eye open… happy Monday…
(In
other news, I just sat down on my friend’s couch and my interview pants ripped…
aaahhhhh!!!!!!!!)
So
today we’re going to discuss some bus etiquette of things NOT to do on the bus. It’s pretty straightforward. My
goal here is to make sure you don’t come off looking like an asshole. Be it
your first time going on the bus, or you millionth time, I’m just trying to
keep you looking good on the bus. Am I going to be a little worried on the bus
today because my pants split slightly? Yes. But guess what, it’s not a major
don’t.
So
here they are:
1.
Don’t try to be bad-ass surfer-like person by not holding
on to anything on the bus: Hey guess,
what? They have the bus repeating the “Please hold on” message for a reason. I,
for one, have fallen off and on and everyone (including the bus driver) is
like: “There are poles her for a reason. Hold on to them. Don’t be that
asshole.” Sudden stops occur. Regular stops occur. Shitty driving can occur.
TRIPPING can occur. Just hold on to something!
2.
Don’t argue with the bus driver: Explaining something to the driver is legit, but getting into a
full-blown argument is annoying, halts the rest of us, and just puts the driver
in a rather unpleasant mood. (Let’s not anger the one who’s driving us around,
y’know?)
a.
A subsection of this is getting kicked off the bus. Generally you need to have done something
extremely stupid or have simply gotten into an argument with the driver and now
he’s kicking you off! And if you are being instructed off, HAVE SOME
DIGNITY AND DO IT QUICKLY! Some of us who
didn’t get kicked off have places to go.
3.
Don’t bring spillables on the bus: I admit, I brought soup onto the bus one time and
the person sitting next to me is like “I will kill you if you get that on me.”
(Non-verbally, with her eyes.) I succeeded in souping sans spilling, but
bringing spillables on the bus is a dumb move. Aside from spilling on yourself,
there are others in splashing distance. I’ve seen/been sprayed by Starbucks
coffees on the bus and the person feels “so bad” but that doesn’t fix you
sticky situation.
4.
Don’t blast your music:
I’ve been over this before. Don’t be the person with the loud music blasting
form their headphones. If anything, take your headphones off, see if you can
hear music, and if you can, turn down your music.
5.
Don’t blast your business:
Seriously, don’t. Be it via telephone or via loud conversation with your
friend, if you’re having a personal conversation, save it for later, or be
quieter about, but don’t blast it for everyone to hear.
6.
Don’t treat the bus like it’s your house: I’ve seen people with their feet propped up on the
seat, sprawled out—remember, this is a bus, not a living room.
7.
Don’t figure out your money/change situation after boarding: There’s a good chance you’ve
been waiting at a busstop for a bit. Figure out your change situation then.
Otherwise, if you board and then start sifting through your wallet, you are
akin to the coffee costumer, waiting in a long ass line, who then gets to the
register and goes “Gee, I guess I’m not ready yet.” Well you should’ve gotten
ready in line ten minutes ago. And no, they aren’t going to make change for you
on the bus if you have $5, $10, or $20.
8.
Don’t pull the “stop request” line last minute and expect
the driver to stop: If you waited until
the very last minute to do that, then you are the laziest commuter in the
world. No sympathy for you.
9.
Don’t be an asshole and sit in the disable/senior seats
when someone elderly, handicapped, or pregnant boards: People will hate you forever if you do.
10.
Don’t pull the “stop request” line and be like “Oops!
That’s not my stop!”: First of all, I give
you props if you do this and own up to it. If you do this, and then the bus
stops, and you say nothing, the bus still has to stop and the driver will wait
for you to deboard. If you say nothing, then I frownth upon thee and declareth
you Jackass of the Year. Still, don’t do it in general. Know when
to get off. It slows everything down, you might even screw someone else over
because if the driver keeps going and some
else needed that stop, then
they’re screwed. Poor form… poor form…
For those readers concerned about my pants, don’t fret, I
bought a stapler and provided the perfect temporary solution (like a stapling a
boss)!
Think I’m missing a major don’t on this list? Prove it. I
dare ya. Leave us a comment! J Share your experience on our
blog or our twitter account at http://twitter.com/LifeInTransitTJ
or on our facebook at http://www.facebook.coom/lifeintransittj
or send us an email at LifeInTransitTJ@gmail.com
and we may post your message / picture!!
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